


the castle on the hill

by SolidStateScouter



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Bathing/Washing, F/F, First Meetings, Gen, Other, Pre-Canon, is this platonic or romantic?? not even i know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3542726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolidStateScouter/pseuds/SolidStateScouter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patchouli was used to the ruins she explored being abandoned, but finding a vampire in them was something else altogether.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The abandoned castle on the hill makes for a pretty intimidating (though interesting) ruin, you have to admit. It looks ancient, like no one's been anywhere near it for centuries. So of course, you need to take a look inside. It doesn't hurt that, when you asked the nearby townspeople, they had said that a vampire queen lived there. Which is hard to believe, even by your standards. Silly locals. Why would any vampire want to live in some old, decrepit mansion? Just because it's creepy doesn't make it a good idea. _  
_

It doesn't really matter, though. Even if there is a vampire there, you're pretty sure you can take care of yourself. Anyways, it's not like vampires are going to be that interested in eating you. Other youkai aren't really part of their diets, from what you know. Just in case, though, you've packed some of your more powerful spellbooks. Part of you can't help but be excited about the prospect of meeting a vampire - you've never met one before. It'd be interesting to separate the facts from the myths. So you've packed an empty notebook too, just in case.

You wait until it's late until you set out from the town to explore. The townspeople probably wouldn't react well to seeing their new visitor going into the 'haunted' mansion. A full moon glows in the night sky, bathing the landscape in faint light. Still, once you're far from the village, you press your hands together. A dim warmth grows in between them, before a small flame flickers to life. It's not much, but it's enough to ward off the cold and grant you more light.

When you finally finish climbing the small hill, you step forward and examine the mansion. Even though it's decrepit and falling apart, it's still pretty impressive. The doors are tall and heavy, but have rotted through at this point. It's easy enough to push them open, although they creak and groan as you do so. Taking a step into the mansion, you raise your hand to bathe the entrance hall in light. It's a massive room, but decades of disuse has left it in shambles. The chandelier has long since crashed to the ground, littering the ground with shards of glass. Moonlight filters in through a large hole in the roof, glittering on the broken glass. You float over the chandelier and land on the staircase, looking around.

The entrance hall has several doors leading to different parts of the mansion, but you go through the one in front of you.

Who knows what you'll find in here.

* * *

You're rummaging through a cupboard when a high, clear voice rings out from behind you. "Hello there!" Suddenly you are reminded that a  _vampire_ lives here, and you slowly turn around, heart pounding. Behind you, a small, short figure is standing in the doorway. She's illuminated by the flare of the your fire, letting you get a better look at her. Her hair is short, messy and caked with filth. She's wearing a ragged, filthy dress, and small fangs poke out from under her lips. 

Vampire. 

"Hello! You must have come here to visit the illustrious Scarlet Devil Mansion!" She claps her hands together with a grin. "Now, I must admit, it's been some time since I've had visitors..." She floats closer to you and you take a nervous step backwards. Now that she's closer, you can see a pair of leathery wings sprouting from her back. 

The first thing to come out of your mouth is "What the hell." The vampire just huffs and crosses her arms, looking at you critically. It takes you a moment to regain your composure. "... Well, I thought it was abandoned, so I was coming here to see if there was anything of interest..." The vampire's looking you over. Apparently she's fine with what she sees, because she smiles at you.

"Well! I have to say that the most interesting thing in the mansion is yours truly, of course!" She presses a hand to her chest and grins. "I'm Remilia Scarlet, mistress of this lovely mansion! And you are?" This is your chance, you realize, to learn about vampires. To separate the facts from the fiction. You have to take it. You'll probably never have a chance like this ever again. 

"I'm Patchouli Knowledge." It's still a bit weird to refer to yourself by your new, chosen name. Nice, but still a bit weird. Remilia grins at you and holds out her hand for a handshake. Slowly, you take it. Her hand is small and cold, but her grip is firm. "So... you live here...?" You gesture vaguely towards the rest of the mansion.

Remilia nods. "Yes! I've lived here my entire life! Around 300 years, now, I believe!" You fumble through your bag before pulling out your notebook and nodding. Remilia smirks. "You're a magician, right? You don't smell like a human." She sounds almost disappointed at that, and you pause in your note-taking. "Did you give up your humanity or were you born into this?"

"I was, uh. Born into it." You lean back against the cupboard you had been rummaging through before. "My mother was a magician. She's gone now, though. Dunno where. Doesn't really matter, though." This isn't really a subject that you're interested in getting into, and you look over at her. "Is it true that vampires are repelled by crosses and other holy symbols?"

Remilia hums and looks at her nails, before looking back up at you. She looks confused and kind of amused. "Nope. That's stupid, honestly. Why would such things harm me, Remilia Scarlet?" She snorts and shakes her head. "Ridiculous." That's a no to that, you guess. Unless she's lying to you. You wouldn't be surprised if she was, honestly. "Why are you so interested, Miss Patchouli?" She sounds almost suspicious. "What are you planning to do with this knowledge? I hope you're not going to share it with any pesky vampire hunters or anything! That'd be bad." Her voice suddenly takes on a threatening air.

"No, of course not. I'm not going to get other youkai killed. I'm just curious." It's true. Nothing of worth comes from giving vampire hunters more information on how to kill them. "Uh, garlic? Does that affect you in any way."

The vampire wrinkles her nose and makes a disgusted noise. "Garlic is disgusting."

"... Is that a yes or a no?"

"It's disgusting." You're going to take that as a yes. "If you're really so interested, I can just tell you everything. Sunlight is harmful and I can't cross flowing water. Garlic and sardine heads are disgusting." Quickly, you take notes on everything she's shared with you, pausing when she mentions sardine heads. "Don't ask me about it, okay? They're just gross. I don't know why, besides the fact that they're fish heads."

You finish writing your notes and nod slowly, looking over them. "Okay. Thank you, Remilia."

The vampire waves her hands and smiles at you. "You can call me Remi."

"... Okay." Floating back to your feet, you look around the room. "So... you live here? Why? It's falling apart."

Remilia - Remi - huffs and hops off of the table. "Yes, I live here. Me and my sister have lived here together for hundreds of years! And I'm not going to leave it just because it's getting a bit old! It's my servants faults, anyways. If they hadn't left, this mansion would still be in perfect shape!"

"By left did you mean die...?"

She snorts and smooths down her torn-up skirt. "Semantics." 

"Okay then. Couldn't you just fix it, though? Your sister, too...? Aren't vampires supposed to be really strong?"

Remilia looks at you like you just hit her. "Excuse me? I'm  _Remilia Scarlet._ It's not my job to  _clean._ I have people for that. Well, I had people for that! I should still have people for that." She grumbles and picks at her teeth, before chuckling to herself. "Me..? Clean? Ha! Preposterous. Next you'll be telling me I need to bathe myself, or something." You just look at her blankly, taking in her ragged clothing and filthy hair. Maybe she does need people for that, considering she doesn't seem to know how to do it herself. "Now, is there anything else you want to know, Patche?" 

You pause and look over at her. "Patche...?"

She grins at you. "Your nickname! It's cute. I mean, I have a cute nickname, so! You should have one too. It's only fair!"

There's a few moments of silence as you think about it, before just deciding to go with it. "... Alright, then. And yes. I want to see some of the other rooms in here." You gesture vaguely towards the rest of the mansion, and Remilia claps her hands together. 

"Oh, of course! I can give you a tour, if you want!" 

"Uh, sure." It'd probably be a good idea to be shown around by someone who actually knows the layout of the mansion. "Lead the way, Remi." It feels weird to call her by her nickname, but whatever. You'll roll with it. She is right, though. It is a pretty cute nickname, you guess.

She grins at you and takes you by the hand, pulling you out of the room with surprising strength and speed. "Come on!"


	2. Chapter 2

Remilia's room is one of the best maintained rooms in the mansion, but that doesn't really mean a lot when the entire thing is falling apart. All the windows in her room are barred shut and obscured by curtains. Her bed - a very, very large bed for someone as small as she is - lies in the center, with her coffin lying on top of it. In the corners of the room, there's piles of dust and broken shards of bone. Cobwebs hang from the door frame, and rats skitter around in the darkness.

It's been a couple weeks since you first visited the Scarlet Devil Mansion. In that time, you've been introduced to Remilia's younger sister - a quiet, pale girl named Flandre. You've filled page after page of your notebook with information on vampires. It's more than you even knew there was to know. And. You've gotten, much, much closer to Remilia. The girl who was once that slightly creepy vampire was now your best friend. (Hell, maybe even more than that.) Also your only friend, but that doesn't really matter. More of your time is spent in or around the mansion, gathering information and herbs and talking to Remilia.

Right now, you're doing the latter.

For a three-hundred year old vampire, Remilia Scarlet is very possibly the brattiest person you have ever met. "You're an ass, Patche," she mutters, leaning against her coffin. "I do not smell bad. I smell  _powerful._ I smell like what any decent, self-respecting vampire princess should smell like. I smell like I bathed in the blood of my opponents." She sounds overly proud of that.

"You may as well have. You smell like a dead fish." You retort, rolling your eyes. Remilia huffs and sticks her tongue out at you. "Seriously, you need to take a bath."

Remilia huffs and crosses her arms. "No! I'm a lady of the Scarlet household! We don't bathe ourselves! We have people to do that for us."

"Had."

"Fuck off." She punches your arm gently. 

You punch her back gently before brushing a lock of hair out of your eyes. "... Uh, you know. I could help bathe you, if you're really too stubborn to do it yourself." Remilia just looks at you for a moment before shrugging. _  
_

"Uh." You have very rarely heard Remi fumble over her words. "Sure, if you really want me to take a bath that badly. I guess." 

"Okay. We can do it later, then. When the sun goes down, in the lake. Since I doubt there's running water or anything here." Remilia nods and yawns, sliding from her coffin and leaning against your shoulder. "Uh..." You feel a blush spreading across your face, and Remilia snickers.

"You're really cute, Patche." She shifts closer to you, so close that her face is almost touching yours. Your heart is pounding way faster than it should be, and you can feel a blush spreading across your face and neck. It takes you a moment to even register what's happening, and then she's leaning in closer and you swear your heart stops. 

You slowly and gently push her away. "Uh." It's true that you've never been great at knowing what to say, but right now is probably one of the most apparent times. "Um... I..." Remilia's face falls and she sighs, shifting away, but you grab her hand quickly. "No! No. Uh. After. After your bath." Remilia blinks at you before a grin spreads across her face and she giggles.

"Okay! Okay. Haha, I was. Yeah. Uh." She holds her hands together and leans against your shoulder again. "So, you don't hate me, right...?"

After a moment of hesitation, you wrap your arm around her and pull her a bit closer. "Of course not."

"You're lovely, Patche." Remi's voice is warm and happy and it makes your heart flutter. "I'm glad I met you."

"Same here, Remi." The small vampire giggles again and wraps her arms around you. This is probably the reddest you've ever been. What a mess. Remilia hums contently, flapping her wings slowly.

* * *

The moon shines bright in the sky, its pale light reflected off the surface of the lake. Remilia flutters ahead of you before settling on the shore. You've brought a towel for her, as well as one for yourself. There's no way you're going to get out of this dry. You have a feeling Remilia's going to push you into the lake. It wouldn't surprise you. "Okay, uh. You need to get undressed, so." Remilia nods and you turn around.

A few seconds pass before you hear splashing. "You can look now, Patche." You turn back around, ignoring the blush spreading across your face. Remilia's sitting in the water, and you pull off your skirt and shoes so you don't get them wet. You kneel behind her and take the soap. It was something you had made a couple weeks ago for your own bathing purposes, based on some instructions in an old book.

You wet the soap and start cleaning Remilia's back. Layers of dead skin and grime peel back, exposing raw, healthier skin underneath. The dead skin and grime is swept off into the lake, settling in gross clumps around the two of you. Remilia pushes them away with a wave of her hand. Her wings are rougher, but they clean pretty easily. Eventually, you're done cleaning her back, shoulders and wings. "Uh, I need you to go underwater for a while so I can wash your hair." 

"No problem! I don't need to breathe, after all!" She ducks underwater, giving you better access to her hair. Her hair is matted with grime and dandruff and dried blood, but it all washes out quickly enough, dispersing in the water. When you're done washing it, it's a lot cleaner and healthier looking. You never really noticed before - it's hard to see in the darkness of the mansion, especially when her hair was so filthy before - but her hair is a beautiful, pale blue. You tap her head and she rises out of the water. She shakes her head, spattering you with water. "Wow, my hair feels. Weird."

You chuckle. "That's because it's actually clean for once, Remi." After fussing with her hair a bit more, you hand her the bar of soap. "Uh. I know you're not really used to bathing yourself, but. I'm not really comfortable with seeing anything or, uh, touching you there, so..." 

"Yeah! That's okay." She takes the bar of soap and starts cleaning the rest of her body. A few minutes pass in silence, with you just staring at the back of her head. And then, she hands the soap back to you. "There we go! I'm clean now! Happy, Patche?" 

"Very much so, yes." Standing up, you turn away from her and retrieve her towel. She takes it, and when you look back, it's wrapped around her body. "You look much cleaner now, Remi." 

She beams at you and nods. "Yes! You should probably give Flan a bath too, later."

"I already have. She's less bratty about these things then you are." You stick your tongue out at her and finish drying your legs. You slip your skirt and shoes back on and look back at her. "Wanna head back now, or...?"

Remilia shakes her head and sits on a rock. "Nah. It's nice out here. The moon's so bright and big." You nod and sit beside her, and she immediately leans against you. "So..." Remi turns her head towards you, smiling slightly. "Wanna continue where we were before, or...?" Smiling, you nod. There's a blush spreading across your face already, and as Remilia leans in, it only gets deeper. Her lips press against yours slowly. It's not much, but it's still enough to make your blush spread down your neck. Remilia pulls back and giggles, blushing slightly. "Patche?"

It takes you a few moments to compose yourself enough to reply. "Yes?"

"I'm glad I met you."

"I'm glad I met you too, Remi." She leans against your shoulder and takes your hand in her own. The moon shines above the two of you, bright and beautiful and distant. 


End file.
